Beatus Natalis

"There are two great days in a person's life- the day we are born and the day we discover why." ~ William Barclay

Birthday's are not meant for fancy gifts and sweet treats. Celebrating birthdays is a way to acknowledge life. There are so many daughter's, son's, mom's, dad's, sisters, uncles, and aunts that are no longer here to celebrate their birthday. Life is meant to be celebrated. As we get older most of us take for granted our own birthday's and treat it as just another day. We rob ourselves of honoring the experiences that came from the high and lows of the year. Those experiences have allowed us to share time with our family and friends and also shaped us to be who we are today. How can you not celebrate that?!?

Today happens to be my birthday and over the last year I have experienced many of the same things that anyone my age does. Kids, financial woes, marriage highs and marriage lows, work, basically the path to finding myself. I cherish each of these memories because it reminds me what is really important in life, and that is people. Especially my two daughters; A and I. The hardest challenge that I continually face is finding and sharing with others the zest for life. I dream of the day when I am exuding joy without even thinking about it. All too often I get caught up with the motion of life, and it gets in the way of slowing down to appreciate simple pleasures. There is beauty in everything we do, especially the hard stuff. Perhaps the key is to simply slow down and take in what is staring right back at us. Be it the color of the flowers, the windows of the soul, the raindrops from the heavens above or a drawing hidden under your pillow by your daughter.

Here is a toast to all of my challenges and joys I've experienced over the last year. I am full of gratitude for the life I share with my family and friends. I love you all!

Tribute to a stranger...

Why is it when you find out someone dies (that you barely know) your world feels like it's recalculating its equilibrium? Is it our aura adjusting to the vanished soul? Maybe because we are more connected than we might think or at least act. It amazes me how someone I barely know that dies can affect my world, sometimes for many days or longer. I truly feel a loss.

This week, someone my soul knew far better than my actual mind and body, passed away and it has left me speechless. She reintroduced my soul to me. She helped develop my yoga practice and taught me how to connect with myself (yes... I have been known to be somewhat spiritually challenged).  I witnessed her doing this with many different people and it was truly amazing to watch. Her legacy will continue on in those she touched, her loving husband and of course her beautiful young daughter. Perhaps one day her legacy will outweigh the raw feelings we are left with since she has passed.

Rest in Peace Sheila Ilias Brown ~ Namaste

5 Things I Experienced After Leaving Facebook

I finally did it! After all my big talk about leaving Facebook - I did it. Well, kind of. My account is still active because it connects me to a few important work groups and most importantly my music on Spotify.

5 Things I experienced when I quit Facebook

1. Facebook withdrawals.
Yes, this is true. I found myself picking up my phone subconsciously looking for the Facebook icon. Sure enough it wasn't there. This would happen while I was driving, intermittently at work and for the first day or so the moment I woke up in the morning.

2. Close friends do not need Facebook to stay in touch.
The 200 friends that I had on Facebook - I am close friends to maybe 10 of them. Sure, I missed reading everyone's posts, but honestly after a few days without it I didn't miss it all. I realized that it takes more energy to get caught up with my acquaintances than I needed to expend. And for what.... nothing more than "feeling" connected.

3. Less people piss me off.
Honestly, there is too much drama on Facebook. At times I found myself criticizing people that I barely knew. Whether it was over politics, religion or comments that I took too seriously.  Come to think of it, I probably piss less people off too.

4. Focusing more on work.
During my work hours I spent more time on Facebook than I would like to admit. It was so easy to jump on and check one thing or two and then before I knew it the time flew by.

5. My mind is more clear.
Since I do not have these random things clouding my mind I feel so much more clear and productive with my time.

This was like a drug to me - I am an advocate of most drugs at least within reason, but this is not within reason for me. It is ridiculous and embarrassing to admit how much time I spent. I guess this was my way to feel connected to people. I have decided to go "old school"! More phone calls, letters, emails, lunch or dinner dates, and drinks after work with all my close peeps.

I haven't given up on all social media. You can find me on Twitter @millermel, Instagram - milleramel, or LinkedIn - Melissa Miller.

Crazy In Your 30's

Fact or myth: Do women go crazy when they are in their 30's? Well it depends on your definition of crazy I suppose. 

   Noun: A mentally deranged person.

According to the dictionary the definition is not in sync with how I would describe this phrase. When I was in my twenties several of my friends were going through divorces. Many of the male counterparts would say "women are crazy in their 30's." Well as a twenty something year old I concocted this story in my head that there must be this huge negative change when you hit your thirties. To say the least I was petrified of turning the big  3-0. 

Fast forward ten or so years and I now understand what it means to "go crazy"! It is an amazing experience filled with liberation, empowerment, self security and sometimes a fuck you attitude. It is a growing period and a time where you as a woman actually are comfortable with your own self. I can see now why some men might find that uncomfortable, incompatible and intimidating. 

As I explore and try new things and test my boundaries I am thankful that I have a spouse that may not agree with the things that I do, but definitely supports me in my endeavors. To answer the original question whether women go crazy when they turn 30 -- I say it is a facyth. Part fact and part myth. 

Thirties Transformation

"The universe is transformation; our life is what our thoughts make it." -Marcus

An indescribable feeling of welcomed, uncontrolled change is awakening inside of me. 

The end of my 20's there was this looming feeling as I approached a new decade. It was not necessarily measured by what I accomplished, rather the terrifying feeling of what it means to be a woman in your 30's - defined by "others". A grown adult with real responsibilities and people that actually rely on me to provide for them. What if I fuck this up? What if I do it wrong? What if I go "crazy" as described by some men? Sheesh, a lot of pressure. My deepest concern at that point was how do I stay the same and preserve what and who I am. At this juncture I felt accepted by "others", which was important.

You see, buried within the paragraph above fully describes a typical 20 something's frame of mind. Worried about what "other" people think. As I am approaching my mid 30's I now realize the importance of self discovery and confidence. Confidence does not come easy for me, but it is seeping out of me day by day and it totally lights my fire! At one point in my life I was terrified of confidence. It was something I envied within others, but definitely was afraid of the outward notion because then I would be fully accountable for my actions. I've spent most of my life hiding behind someone else's rules. Breaking my own rules at one point was never thought of as an option..... NOW I wake up each morning asking myself "what rules will I break today"? 

REALLY....

Who the hell are these "other" people? They sure have resided in my conscious mind rent free for over 2 decades. It's time to get the fuck out!